In the months following my daughter’s liver transplant I started feeling discontented, obsolete, I lost interest in things I once loved and experienced mild depression. These feelings were familiar, I experienced all of them and worse when I went through my midlife crisis 20 years ago. That crisis led me to find passion, joy and meaning. So, following the urgings of my heart and soul I started to write, thinking that if I wrote about what I was feeling I would find my way out.
My writing started as a book, then a course and grew into a training program for coaches. The more I wrote my passion ignited, joy leapt, twirled and bubbled within me. My life felt meaningful again and I knew that this is what I wanted to share with others for the rest of my life.
Writing, if you want to do it well, needs to be an intuitive process. It’s using the thinking mind to get you started, then as inspiration pours through being prepared to put it aside and trust the process. I can write quickly. The three books I ghost wrote took just three weeks each and that’s because they were about money and it was a subject I knew a lot about. When my writing is inspired it’s a longer process, because my thinking mind gets in the way at times, so I need to gently remind it, now is not the time. Of course, there is a place for the thinking mind, the organising and getting my work out there is very much run by this part of me, but the creative process needs to be led by my intuition.
Some days I just sit at my computer and it pours out of me, I am just the vehicle. At other times, when I don’t understand the next step, I need to write my way to clarity. Usually this means that days of work and pages that aren’t quite right get thrown away. But when clarity dawns I slip back into the flow again.
When I write I meditate more than usual, I am fully present. I connect with my heart multiple times throughout the day and time stops. I can’t tell you what bliss this is, even though at times the pain (from arthritis) is so bad it feels as if my arms will fall off.
By following my intuition, I discovered what was making me feel discontented. I found the answer to a problem I hadn’t been able to overcome. I’ve found a way to meet an unmet need.
A very wise man once said to me, ‘Sometimes you just have to walk through the fire first”. The fire is different for each of us, mine is physical pain so I am going to have three joint replacements, starting December, one after the other as quickly as my body can cope, so that I can enjoy my life to the fullest.
For some people the fire represents their feelings of not being enough; worrying about what other people think or, being rejected.
Ask for guidance and take the first step, then follow that step with another. You may not feel inspired at first but as you walk through your fears at some stage inspiration will dawn, that’s when you will know you are exactly where you are meant to be, and doing exactly what you are meant to do.