The Best You

The headline, in Saturday’s Daily Telegraph, moved me to tears. It listed the number of people killed in recent terrorists attacks alongside the body of a child. Now most of us feel sad when we hear of such tragedies. Most people are compassionate. What most people don’t know though is that by being the best you it is possible to be, each one of us has the power to change the world around us.

Scientists at HeartMath discovered that energy from angry, fearful and depressed people can be influenced by positive emotions. Emotions such as care, compassion, love and other positive emotions are transmitted through an individual’s cardioelectromagnetic field and transferred to others in close proximity, and possibly over longer distances. In simple terms that means that the more caring, compassionate, loving and happier you can be every single day, you will exert a positive influence on the people around you.

What takes us all off track is our emotions. We react to what other people say. We make choices based on what other people think, rather than on what we really want. We allow fear to prevent us from doing what makes us happy. We fall into despair sometimes wallow in our misery. All this does is keep the world on the same old treadmill it has always been on.

To change the world, you need to step up and be counted not just as a nice, compassionate person, but by being the best you it is possible to be.

During the late nineties I made a choice that had the most profound influence on my life, I made a commitment to being a loving, kind and generous person. Those values represented the ideal person I wanted to be at that time.

One day while having lunch in a fast food chain, a kid started kicking the back of my chair. When I looked around and noticed a Muslim woman in a hijab I made a judgement, then I caught myself. In my mind I forgave the woman and child, I forgave myself for being so judgmental and I smiled at them as I left. A few days later someone ran into the back of my car while I sat at a traffic light, my first reaction was anger, then I remembered who I wanted to be. I got out of my car and smiled at the other driver, and treated him with respect.

As I continued doing this over the coming weeks I became aware just how negative and judgmental I had become, and how often I allowed my emotions to take me away from the life I wanted to live. As I made small but consistent changes I felt good about myself. I became more optimistic and within a very short space of time I went from being frustrated, angry and confused to feeling the most joyful I have ever felt.

On a practical level those changes flowed over to my work life and I went from working part time as a bookkeeper to ghost writing 3 books within a couple of months, those opportunities came to me completely out of the blue. I had been thinking of becoming a life coach and I took the plunge and started sharing what I had learnt with others, and without any preconceived ideas or expectations this sharing led to the creation of my training school. Within 12 months my income quadrupled and my life completely transformed – all because I chose to be the best me I could be.

Recently I noticed I was feeling irritable a lot of the time. Now the first thing most of us do is try to change what’s irritating us, but I know that only brings short term relief. My daughter reminded me that I wasn’t feeling free, which is my most important need. Once I addressed the cause the irritation left.

When thinking about values that could represent the ideal person you would like to be think about the overall legacy you would like to leave behind, that could be a legacy of joy, acceptance, peace, love, gratitude or compassion. Who I choose to be changes at different stages, but I feel my latest choice to be a loving, joyful, accepting person best represents the way I want to be remembered. This is who I choose to be on a daily basis and these values guide all of my choices. Another way to choose values is to look at what you react to in your daily life and choose values that will help you transcend those reactions.

Filling your needs and living by values, they are such simple yet powerful choices that make you happy and good about yourself. When you become the best you it’s possible to be at this time, your positive emotions will have a profound effect on the world around you. Just try it for one day.

This is how we can change the world. The power of ‘being’ is more powerful than anger, guns and retaliation. If you want a magic potion to change your life, and the world, all you have to do is work daily at being the best you.


I would love to hear what you are doing to change your world.



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