When you cease resisting what is

My life is challenging at the moment. Both of my girls have some potentially serious health problems, one more serious than the other, and my automatic response is to find a solution for them. But I’ve also learnt that the way to stay in a state of flow is to resist nothing, so accepting what is while still supporting them and seeking a solution requires a delicate balance. At the same time I know I need to take care of myself.

There are challenges that we all face and if you are faced with one type of challenge more than another, this is an opportunity to master this aspect of your personality. My major life lesson, or opportunity is a more accurate way to describe it, is to accept what is.

Resistance is like shutting a door. To go looking for a solution or to complain about what’s happening in your life may make you feel good for a short while, the problem is that its akin to shutting the door to life, and behind that door are all of the things that you’ve been asking for.

For most of us resistance triggers an automatic response and sometimes that response supports us and sometimes it doesnt. Some challenges are wake up calls. Problems can motivate us. Inspire us. And give us the courage to face our fears.

So next time you find yourself blaming, complaining, worrying, constantly talking about your problems or madly searching for answers PAUSE. This problem may just contain a solution that can change your life.

PRACTICE BEING MINDFUL. In the present moment you will find peace. It’s the best place to practice acceptance.

And when you can accept what is you live in a state of flow, and this is where life gets easier.

 

 

Making Your Life Matter

When Abigail Lupi was 10 years old she visited her grandmother at an aged care facility. Shocked by how sad and lonely many of the residents were Abigail gathered a group of friends to sing, dance and act to put on shows for them. This troupe evolved into CareGirlz, a troupe which has brightened the lives of thousands of people since it first began.

A stabbing, which occurred at Granville Boys High School in 2011, inspired Ali Amood, Adam Alahmad and others to do something. They decided to set up a café to foster a sense of community, to feed the kids whose families didn’t have the means to provide them with breakfast. Pulse Café started with a grant of $500, which they used to buy a coffee machine.

Since the inception of the Pulse Café violence at the school has decreased and students are happier and more attentive.

Louise Hay started Hay House Publishing at 62. She started a foundation at 63. She co-wrote You Can Create an Exceptional Life with Cheryl Richardson at age 84. And although she retired from the day-to-day running of Hay House, she was still involved with her business until her death at age 90.

All of these people felt called to do something, and age wasn’t a barrier. We all have a calling, often more than one, that is sometimes easy to overlook because it may seem too ordinary. Whether your calling is something grand, or an activity you engage in that makes you happy, it’s important because it’s your reason for living. There have been many studies carried out over 20 years that show that seniors with a sense of purpose, that gives them a reason to get up and look forward to each day, live longer, are healthier and have less cognitive decline.

The purpose of my life, your life, everyone’s life is to share our gifts. Purpose is rarely something grand, in fact we usually find our life purpose in simple ways we share our gifts every day. Purpose is always about sharing the best parts of us with others and this could be through: acts of kindness, volunteering, teaching, being a role model, sharing and helping others.

Understanding your calling

Your calling is something different, something that your soul calls you to do and this can change at different life stages. A calling is never dependent upon age.

A calling can be a strong impulse to follow a certain path or to take a particular course of action.

Sometimes we think of our calling as a job, and for some people it is, but often it’s something we do every day. Raising children can be some people’s calling. Being a teacher who really helps their students to believe in themselves, may be another calling.

A calling can change at different life stages. Although we are parents for our entire lives, when our children grow up we need to find a new calling. The same applies for people whose work is their calling, once they retire their calling may be to do something different.

My calling was to be a mother, it’s all I ever wanted ever since I was ten years old and it was more important to me than work, money or success. I’ve always said that if I hadn’t had children of my own I would have adopted, fostered or started an orphanage overseas. I always knew that I was meant to be a mother.

I absolutely loved, and still love being a mother, but my children grew up. Along with parenting, my work has been a big part of my calling for the past 20 years. My work is about sharing what I’ve learnt from my own life experiences with others. Even though I am passionate about my work I still felt a little lost when my time as a full-time parent ended, and this is natural but since then I’ve discovered new passions.

I am passionate about helping baby-boomers find meaning in later life. As I may not be able to teach forever, and I want to make as big a difference as possible with my life, I started my non-profit movement, Be the Difference, to encourage more people to get involved in making our world a better place to live.

I am more passionate now than I have ever been even though I am now 71, and I have no doubt that I will find a way to share until the day I die, although I do admit I may slow down a little.

Stay open and willing

To recognise your calling and how to share your gifts you can:

Look at where you are challenged in life, usually challenges present you with opportunities to develop a strength that shows you your purpose.

Ask questions.

Follow your heart, it always takes you to your calling.

Practice being mindful.

Listen to your intuition.

Give as much as possible, that doesn’t have to be money or even time, it can be sharing a smile, visiting an elderly friend, looking for ways to brighten another person’s day.

Imagine reaching the end of your life feeling fulfilled knowing that you have touched and enriched so many lives. That’s what purpose is, it’s about being the best you possible. Your calling is often a way to express your purpose, it helps you to grow to your full potential, it always supports you to evolve.

My favourite quote about purpose, is from Neale Donald Walsch. He says: “Your life has nothing to do with you. It has to do with everyone whose life you touch, and the way in which you touch it.”

Heart Coherence Contains the Answer to so Many Problems

 

When the twin towers collapsed on September 11 2001 scientists, monitoring the earth’s magnetic field, were astounded by the spikes that occurred in the earth’s magnetic field. These spikes were off the scale when compared to any readings previously recorded.

There were two satellites measuring these readings, both placed in space by the United States, one over the north pole and one over the south pole. When scientists later overlaid a calendar to correlate the events happening on earth with the spikes in the earth’s magnetic field, they found that they correlated to every one of the attacks, with the first spike occurring 15 minutes after the plane crashed into the first tower.

The earth’s magnetic field is responsible for everything from climate to sea levels. This field connects all life on earth from a flower, a bee to animals and humans. We also have an individual electromagnetic field that influences everything we experience including our immune response and cognitive abilities. Science now recognises that both of hese fields can be influenced by human emotion, and the collective emotions of a group of people, although there are still some sceptics.

The heart is the first organ to develop in the body along with our circulatory system. The heart is not only vital to life, it is the centre of our emotions and emotions play a significant role in our individual health and wellbeing, as well as the global wellbeing of the planet.

When we feel happy our brain sends signals that change our body chemistry. When we feel fearful our body chemistry changes in a negative way. One person being fearful is not going to make much of a difference to the world, but when millions of people feel fearful then these collective emotions negatively impact the world around us.

When we experience a collective emotion we create heart coherence, an energetic force field which can be measured. The electromagnetic field that comes from the heart is transmitted throughout and outside of the body. This enables some people to be able to heal others, which was demonstrated in a fascinating TV show called the Healer (on Foxtel’s TLC).

The Healer features Charlie Goldsmith, a young Aussie guy who does not charge for his work, who has an amazing ability to heal others of physical and emotional pain. Charlie has teamed up with some American Hospitals to participate in double blind studies to understand the role energy medicine has in healing.

What we do know for sure is that when the heart and brain work together we create a unified force field that not only has the power to change our own lives, it can impact the world around us.

Heart Coherence

According to HeartMath, a coherent state enables our bodies and minds, to function at optimal capacity. Greg Braden says that coherence triggers about 1,400 biochemical changes. Our immune system improves, we think more clearly, we become less aggressive.

The Global Coherence Initiative, was launched by HeartMath Institute in 2008. It is using advanced magnetometer sensing technology to observe changes in the earth’s magnetic field created by mass human emotions. Their purpose is “to unite millions of people worldwide in heart-focused care and intention, to help shift global consciousness from instability and discord to balance, cooperation and enduring peace,” and the HeartMath Institute believes that purpose will be served as scientists gain greater insight into the energetic heart.

Aligning our hearts and minds makes it easier to succeed at anything, draws people to us, improves our health and mental clarity, benefits the planet and makes us feel good. And it is such a simple process we would be crazy not to try it for ourselves.

All you need to do is spend five minutes a day focusing on feelings of compassion, appreciation, forgiveness. You can do this by following the steps below:

  1. Breathe deeply and focus on feeling calm.
  2. Place your hand, even a finger on your heart.
  3. Think about something you appreciate, this could be a pet, person or the beach. Appreciation helps to open the heart.
  4.  Focus on feeling compassion for yourself, the planet and all the people in it.
  5. As you inhale dwell on feelings of care,  compassion and forgiveness.
  6. As you exhale imagine each breath radiating these emotions to your local neighbourhood, friends and family and to the whole planet. This is very similar to a loving kindness meditation.

To create global coherence. Follow the abovementioned steps then:

  1. Imagine your energy field joining with others to creating healing and peace.
  2. See yourself joining with others to participate in the healing process and generating peace.

I urge you to practice this simple exercise daily and observe the changes in your own life. Then join the International Global Coherence Initiative, and let’s join together to change the world. It only works if we work together.

 

 

What Legacy Will You Leave Behind You?

“Love is my gift to the world. I fill myself with love and I send that love out into the world. How others treat me is their path; how I react is mine.” This is a quote by Wayne Dyer and is indicative of how he lived his life. He was in Australia sharing his message, and a couple of days later he passed peacefully in his sleep.

I don’t know how many of Wayne’s talks I attended, I’ve read most of his books and listened to his audios hundreds of times and I feel as if a personal friend has died, but beyond the sadness is the the legacy Wayne left behind. The legacy Wayne Dyer left behind him is huge, he inspired me to believe in myself and my dreams. Many times I heard Wayne Dyer say, ‘Don’t Die with Your Music still in You’ and this is a message I took to heart and is one that I live by. I encourage you to do the same.

In the world today there are more negative people than positive ones. There are more people who are ruled by fear than by faith. Beyond Blue estimates that 1 million Australian experience depression and 2 million experience anxiety. We can do something about this. Not everyone is going to help others in the way that Wayne Dyer or even I do, but you can inspire people around you with your attitude, by sharing your knowledge, being supportive and kind.

I was blessed to come from a family cursed by depression. I say blessed because watching the way some members of my family lived their lives and coped with depression by hiding away, inspired me to conquer my own fears, to find ways to cope when my mood goes down. When my daughter was diagnosed with major depression and anxiety in her teens I was able to support her to find her way out of the black hole. I am so, so proud of my daughter today, she is still challenged by depression but she has chosen to live her life to the fullest. Every time she falls down she lifts herself up. When she is afraid she forges ahead. Expect to hear about her in the future because she is the one who will take over my work and add her own gifts when the time is right.

Each and every day we have a choice, we can live our lives from a place of love, or we can react and allow our fears to restrict our choices. We cannot have everything that we want in the way that we want it, but we can always attain the feeling. Remember, the feeling is the real goal.

Include as many pleasurable activities as you can into every single day. They don’t have to be major, it could be something as simple as enjoying your morning coffee (bliss!), having lunch in the sun with a good book, connecting with a friend whose company you enjoy. When you become accustomed to feeling pleasure on a regular basis it motivates you to do what makes your heart sing.

Be mindful. When you are mindful you are not thinking about what you have to do next, worrying about how to solve a problem, or thinking about a future event, you place your attention on the here and now. If you feel anxious rather than making a judgment about it, or yourself, or looking for ways to change your state, you accept that this is how you feel right now.

The purpose of mindfulness is not that you plan to be mindful every minute of the day, there is a time and place for everything. There will be times when it is necessary to do something to change your state, or look for a solution. Mindfulness is practised in short bursts.

I urge you to commit to living your life to the fullest, to follow your dream, to connect regularly with people who uplift you so that you too can be an inspiration to others and leave a legacy of love behind you.

Finding Your Calling

We spend a great deal of our lives stumbling around in the dark complaining, worrying, blaming or avoiding then something happens that sheds a light, and if we are open and willing, we have an awakening that leads us to our calling.

When I was ten years old I prayed for a baby, even at that young age I knew I was meant to be a mother. If I couldn’t have had children I would have adopted, fostered or even started an orphanage in an impoverished nation. My calling was that strong. As an adult I knew I wanted to write. Initially my desire came from a need for recognition, but I also had a very strong desire to share what I had learnt with others. Now I write in my mind every day. It’s something I love doing and I can’t help but write, and I would continue to write even if no-one read my work.

We don’t just have one calling, we have multiple callings which we are called to act upon at different life stages. A calling can also be called life purpose, or vocation. It is something that your soul is calling you to do and until you follow that calling you may feel dissatisfied, as if there is something missing.

Some people expect that when they discover their calling they will be happy, that everything in their life will work, but that isn’t necessarily so. Knowing your calling is one thing, acting on it is another. When you follow your calling you develop strengths that enable you to share your gifts with others. Along the way there will be lessons to be learnt and fears that need to be faced as well as joy, fulfilment and a feeling that you are exactly where you are meant to be, doing exactly what you are meant to do. A calling is always about growing to your full potential and it always supports you to evolve.

You are either moving towards or away from your calling

I once worked with a client who had recently retired and she was feeling lost and directionless. This feeling always precedes an awakening. She had a project that she was working on that had the potential to make her a substantial amount of money, the problem was it didn’t fulfil her, and she didn’t really need the money. As we talked I became aware that up until this time in her life most of her happiness had been derived from her achievements, mostly work related. While achievement can be a way of following your heart, it is generally ego driven. There comes a time when, if we are to grow spiritually, we need to leave our egos behind. I encouraged this woman to let go of her need for achievement and to focus on what made her happy in other ways and to build new strengths.

We get signs to awaken all of the time. These come in the form of problems, tragedy, personal crises. Most people miss these signs because they engage in habits that keep them stuck such as, complaining, worrying, blaming or avoiding. Life is always guiding you to grow and develop your gifts, if you are willing to take up the challenge.

My first awakening occurred when my son died when he was 5, I was 33. I knew that there was nothing I could do to change what happened so I made a commitment to make a difference with my life, to do what he would have done if he had lived, as well as what I was called to do. I have never regretted that choice – it changed my life.

When we ignore our calling we often feel unhappy, confused, or more stressed. Sometimes our personalities change. For about 20 years I was in love with a beautiful man who had so much potential. As life challenges came his way he blamed, abdicated responsibility and avoided anything he didn’t want to face. He eventually became someone I didn’t even like and didn’t want to spend any time with. It’s unfortunate that I have seen so many people, who I once liked or admired go down this path as well.

If you have been searching for your calling, but still don’t know what it is, ask yourself what are you resisting. We resist our calling when we are afraid. You may still be an ethical, nice person who on the outside seems okay, but if you are observant, you will notice the little changes that are occurring within you. You may not laugh as much, you may struggle with your moods, you may experience health, relationship, work or financial problems. You may have become more cynical or lost your joy.

Finding your calling isn’t something that usually happens overnight, although it can, if you are open. It’s a journey that you can start at any time, you don’t need to wait for a wake up call.

Step 1. Look at the challenges you face, these are signs

By identifying your challenges you can then choose values that will help you grow.

For the past couple of years life has been telling me to value myself, so the value I chose to work with is respect, especially self-respect. Anything I give to myself I always extend to others. Life has also been encouraging me to be patient. As I act upon these values I find I react less, and other people’s moods don’t spoil my day. I am calmer and I know this is who I need to be to spread my message of hope and joy.

A calling is never about getting or achievement, it is always about growing and giving.

Step 2. Be mindful

Mindfulness is a tool that supports us to manage stress. It can also help us identify our needs, what makes us happy and what takes us off track.

Focus on being courageous, willing and accepting and look for ways to actively demonstrate these traits every single day. Ask for guidance as to what you are meant to do. A calling doesn’t have to be around a career, but it will always be around giving. Callings come in all shapes and sizes and can change at different life stages.

On a typical day take three minutes to walk around the room or space that you are in. Do this without any particular goal in mind. Just walk wherever attracts your attention.

When your three minutes is up write down where your mind went during that time.  Did you:

Have thoughts about the past?
Think about the future or jobs you have to do?
Replay a conversation you had with someone?
Focus on how frustrated you feel?
Look for a solution to a problem?
Criticise yourself?

This exercise gives you an idea of where your attention is placed throughout the day and the many different things that distract you from being present. What can you do to ensure that your attention is on things that bring joy to your life?

Step 3. Look for positive way to bring more joy into your daily life

The more joyful you are, the easier it becomes to recognise your individual calling. Actively seek ways to do something that brings joy, it doesn’t matter how simple it is, it is all about how that action makes you feel.

One day you will notice that you didn’t find your calling – your calling found you.

 

 

When Your Soul is Telling You to Awaken

Have you ever wondered why your life is the way it is? Have you achieved a lot of goals yet still feel unfulfilled? Do you have a pattern that keeps recurring despite all your best efforts to resolve it?

Problems, dissatisfaction, even frustration, anger and despair are your soul’s way of telling you to listen to your heart and walk a new path, this may be in just one area of your life, or it could encompass multiple areas.

What we do a lot of the time is use force to try to change what we don’t want. We do this through our will, by insisting that we have to earn a certain income, live in a specific area, be in a relationship and so on, and then when what we want doesn’t manifest we complain, blame and to try to control. Sometimes we visualise, affirm and apply the law of attraction to manifest our desires. If you’ve done this you’ll know that sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn’t.

Your heart is always the compass for your soul

Every time you make a choice from the heart you are following your soul. Your soul guides you to the choices and lifestyle that will make your happiest.

During my thirties, I took on the job of setting up and managing a financial advisory business for women. At that time this was quite revolutionary as women weren’t able to get home loans easily, many older women whose husbands had died, didn’t know a thing about their money, even how to write a cheque, so a lot of my work revolved around educating women, as well as selling investment products. Despite having a very large media profile I didn’t make a lot of money from commissions, the area that flowed for me was writing, speaking and teaching. When I was offered a column in a women’s magazine my employer insisted our publicist write the article, which the magazine turned down. Secretly I was glad about this as I didn’t want someone else writing under my name and I that’s when I decided then I wanted my own column. I visualised my name at the top of a column and told any journalists I came in contact with I was interested in writing a regular column, before long I was offered my first column and ended up writing columns for four different publications. My intention in writing these columns was to increase my business but I didn’t make that much from them, what I learnt was that I loved writing, and by observing the journalists who edited my work I learnt a lot.

When I decided to write a book I wrote letters to several publishers and three publishers responded, even though all I had was a concept and no great writing skills.

When I decided to become a professional speaker, out of the blue I was offered paid speaking roles, so I took some classes with a speech and drama teacher as I knew I wasn’t at that level.

When I decided to conduct my first public course Financially Free, I advertised a free introductory talk and told the participants that I had never run a course before so I was only charging $20 a week and they could drop out at any time. Half of the people attending the free introductory talk enrolled in the course and I finished with more people in my class than I began.

Many times over the following years I questioned how I could be so successful in some areas and not in others. For many years my cash flow was erratic. I now understand that when I was on the path of writing, teaching and speaking, money flowed, whereas when I allowed my mind to rule and looked for ways to increase my income, my cash flow diminished.

I now see clearly that life told me that my work at the Financial Woman was just a stepping stone, a way for me to gain valuable skills, experience and a profile that would help me in my life’s work, but it was not what I came into this world to do. I feel as if I was born to teach life skills and whenever I stray from that path, then life doesn’t flow as well.

Our stories do not keep us safe

What prevents us from stepping into the life we are born to live is our story. Our stories are what we tell others, and ourselves, about why our life is the way it is. It is the conversation that we repeatedly have with a friend about something that irritates us, or a problem we are experiencing. Our story is such a familiar part of our everyday lives that most of the time we cannot see how it is running our lives as our stories become self-fulfilling prophecies because we place so much attention on them.

Our stories have no power, it is the emotions associated with our stories that influence the quality of our life. The tougher the challenges we face, the more likely we are to get stuck in our stories. When my business and life were at its peak, which was after I wrote Love the Life You Live, my teenage daughter experienced major depression and was very suicidal. Living with all of the associated problems that resulted from her depression took me off my path and I became stuck in my story. It took being kicked out a spiritual retreat in Sedona for me to become aware and surrender. And as I asked for guidance on what to do I received insights and inspiration that led to the development of the personality archetypes I teach, this not only helped me in my relationship with my daughter, they became an invaluable tool in the work I teach.

Imagine you are given a road map, you know where to start and you know your destination, the map gives you directions as to how to get there.  If you don’t follow the map, or if you decide to explore different routes along the way, then it may take you longer to arrive at your destination, or you may get lost.  Your needs are the map for the choices that will make you happiest.

As you move in the direction of your greatest need your actions often trigger your greatest fears.  Your fears represent the aspects of yourself that would serve you to let go of.  For every fear there is a gift, so when you act on your strengths you not only bring your gifts to the world, you release your fears.

When you trust your heart you can apply the law of attraction to your life with 100% confidence that the right people and opportunities will come into your life to support you. If what you are doing doesn’t work, then reassess. Ask yourself, is this what you really want, or is the way you think you can have what you want? Your heart knows the path in life that is the easiest, and it is the one that will make you the happiest and allow you to grow into the best person you can be. Trust it.