Your Archetypes Contain a Map for your Soul

Carl Jung was, to my knowledge, the first scientist to talk about a map for your soul and personality archetypes. Jung described archetypes as “a pre-shaping possibility”, and while I am not a scientist, I’ve discovered, through my own life experiences, that each one of us has an inbuilt guidance system which is always guiding us to the life which will make us happiest, whether we follow that path is up to us.

When I lived through a prolonged period of extreme stress there wasn’t much in my life that flowed.  It didn’t matter how hard I worked, how much I worked on myself or how positive I tried to be nothing really changed. It was only when I reached breaking point and decided that if I wanted to have any quality of life I needed to accept the things I could not change, that my life started to flow again.

Becoming an accepting person changed my life but it wasn’t easy, and as it’s one of my life lessons, it still challenges me at times. During that time in my life I went to bed every night asking a different question. I never heard a voice which said, ‘this is what you should do’, life would be easier if we did and it can be so easy to miss signs when we have preconceived ideas of how answers should come, or what they should be. My answers came in the form of dreams and insights. I didn’t get the answer I expected – I got something much greater, an understanding of how our personality contains a map for the soul.

I started writing down my observations and discussed them with my daughter Laura Hartley. Laura has had a tremendous input into the development of the nine personality archetypes, sometimes showing a greater insight than I have. Our personality, which is made up of three personality archetypes, acts like a map for the soul which shows us what motivates us, the fears we need to face, the lessons we need to learn, the potential within us and the gifts we have to share.

If we only had one archetype life would be straightforward, but as we have three natural personality archetypes the interaction of these archetypes, combined with learned behavior is what makes our life path unique.

Some archetypes have a very clear path to follow, they are here to make a difference. Some combinations are clearly here to learn to love and trust themselves and to move beyond worrying about what other people think so that they can share their gifts. Other combinations clearly need to overcome their own insecurities and take responsibility for their dreams. Every archetype comes with positive and negative traits, fears and lessons to learn and gifts to share.

My gifts are to serve, love and share my wisdom. This has given me a very clear vision of what I want to do with the rest of my life. Sometimes though, when life isn’t flowing we can feel stuck, this is when understanding what motivates us can support us to move through our fears.

The soul knows what it came here to do and it is always supporting you and guiding you to the place in life that makes you happy. Pause and listen – what is your soul calling you to do?

If you want to understand your personal map come along to my Dharma Retreat to be held in Sydney in August. 

Learn to Receive Graciously

At one time I put my car in to have service and based on the quote I’d been given I expected to have to pay a hefty bill.  When I picked up my car later that day I was delighted to find that the bill was $600 less than I expected and I assumed that the mechanic didn’t need to do as much as he originally thought.

A couple of days later I noticed that one of my tyres was really black and I wondered if the mechanic had put some blacking agent on it, however, as I walked around my car I noticed that all of my tyres looked brand new.  When I saw my dad on the weekend I asked him to check out my tyres to see if they were new and he said, ‘There is no doubt, there is no wear on the tread, these are brand new tyres’.  When I told him that I hadn’t asked for them, or paid for them, and that I thought the mechanic had given them to me as a random act of kindness Dad said, ‘No-one would do that.  There has to be some mistake.  Maybe he put someone else’s tyres on your car’.

That’s when doubt set in and I started to question.  Should I thank the mechanic and embarrass myself if he really didn’t mean it?  Should I offer to pay for the tyres?  Do I come across as poor?  And as I tossed these possibilities over in my mind I became aware, once again, at how easy it is to resist receiving and most of the time that is because our ego gets in the way.

Learn to Receive Graciously

I chose to accept the gift graciously.  I waited a couple of days so that he could contact me if he had made a mistake and when he didn’t, I called in and thanked him for the tyres (and I suspect the reduced bill).

He said, ‘Tyres, what new tyres?  I didn’t put new tyres on your car.’  He looked embarrassed, while at the same time he was grinning from ear to ear. I later found out that this man is known for buying old cars, doing them up, then giving them to people in need.

That man’s kindness not only made my day, it made my week and possibly my month.  Every time I think about it, even now, I feel good.

It’s important for all of us to learn to receive graciously, when we do this we feel good and then we pass those feelings of goodwill along to others.  We shift our focus off what is wrong with the world, people, or in our own lives and onto what is good.  Since then I’ve noticed how often people are kind to me.

Give by all means and at the same time be open and receptive to receiving from unexpected sources.

To Expand Your Comfort Zone – Trust

There was a time in my life when I just had to ask for what I wanted and it was like turning on a tap, it was there. Then one day the tap dried up and it didn’t matter how hard I tried, or how much I gave, nothing changed. Fortunately, the tap is now flowing freely again and I now know that only happens when I trust.

Life continually provides us with opportunities to expand our comfort zone and to go beyond our expectations. We are the ones who limit ourselves. The problem for most people is that they either don’t realise they have an issue trusting, or they don’t know how to trust. Here’s some ways for you to build your trust muscle.

1. Be trust neutral. When we don’t trust we tend to shut down emotionally, or close a part of ourselves off from others. Rather than doing this make the choice to be trust neutral. You can be open and friendly in new relationships you just choose not to share anything of a confidential nature. Or, give your heart or money, to someone until you know them better.

2. People tell you who they are all the time. To become a good judge of character you need to develop your perception skills and you do this by observing. Really listen to the words people say and take note if their words contradict their actions. For instance, if someone tells you they are a person of integrity yet they are having an illicit affair their actions contradict their words. If someone tells you that you can trust them with a confidence and they gossip about others, it would be downright foolish to trust them.

3. Reflect and observe. If you can’t trust your own judgement, it’s hard to trust someone else. Look back over past choices that supported you and ask yourself why you made that choice. Look at the times you had problems trusting yourself and ask yourself if you allowed a fear to control your life, or were your concerns valid. By observing what has worked for you in the past you will learn to differentiate between fear and intuition.

4. It’s easier to trust when you have a contingency plan. When you are making any choice which involves a financial risk I always find it helps to have a contingency plan. This is an alternate plan for what you can do if your choice doesn’t work out the way you hope. This is ideally used for situations such as when you change jobs, start a business or make a major financial decision. I know I feel more comfortable have two or three contingency plans that I can fall back on if things don’t go the way I plan. This is not planning for failure, it ensures that you can focus on your goal without fear getting in your way.

5. Keep your dreams to yourself. The more you share your dreams with others the more likely you are to doubt yourself. Other people, while well intentioned, often tell you their fears and before long you start to doubt yourself. Many dreams that have been shared too early die before they even get started.

6. Trust builds confidence. Many people come for coaching because they want to feel more confident. Acting like a confident person isn’t going to make you feel confident, being a trusting person will. As you learn to trust your own judgement and trust yourself you naturally become more confident.

There is actually a lot more you can do to become a trusting person so start thinking about what you need to do and in what area of your life do you need to trust more. Then every time you feel fearful, or find yourself about to react in your usual way ask yourself how you would act if you were a trusting person. Then act that way.


Most people know that Richard Branson, the founder of the Virgin group of companies, is a self-made billionaire, but did you know that he has never worked in an office building? Richard works from his home and much of his work is done from a hammock. He is a perfect example of a person who knows what makes him happy and who takes responsibility for meeting his own needs.

What separates successful people from others who never quite achieve their dreams is their ability to focus on what they want. One of the best ways to do this is to not focus on problems. Oprah says, “Challenges are gifts that force us to search for a new centre of gravity. Don’t fight them. Just find different ways to stand”.

Establish the habit of accepting what is. This does not mean that you cease being proactive and working towards the outcome you really want.  It simply means that you place your attention on what you want, rather than limitations.

What are You Resisting?

The most common things people resist are: being unemployed, unfairness, having no money, being in debt, losing everything, losing face, not having what they want, their partner’s habits, conflict, not having enough time. What we resist makes us poor. There are many people who are time poor, friends poor, love poor or support poor. Poverty in any form results from the judgements we make about what is. Any time you make a judgement about another person, yourself or a situation you are resisting what is.

If you want to live a relaxed prosperous life always focus on what you want to create, rather than the things that irritate you.

Have You Downsized Your Dreams?

At one time I had an amazing holiday in America where I visited New England, a region I had wanted to visit for many years. Seeing the fall leaves in New Hampshire, the beautiful houses in Maine, the sheer beauty of Martha’s Vineyard as well as the magic of New York reminded me that I had downsized my dreams.

The first time I became aware that I had a tendency to downsize my dreams occurred when I visited Hearst Castle in San Simeon, which is located between Los Angeles and San Francisco. At that time I was just getting back on my feet after a difficult financial period and I hadn’t realised how much I had stopped being honest with myself about what I really wanted. Hearst Castle itself is rather dark and dreary, but the palazzo in front of the castle is a different story. It is magnificent.

When I sat there enjoying all the beauty around me I said to myself, “I am thinking way too small”. I came home from that trip, prepared my house for sale, and as often happens when we prepare for what we want, I saw an ad for a house in the suburb that I really wanted to live that was within my means. I had thought living in that suburb was out of reach, so I never looked.  If I had continued thinking small I would never have looked and recognised the opportunity. Moving into the area I really wanted to live was just the start.  Soon after my business took off. My book became a best seller. My whole life improved because I acted as if I believed I could have what I really wanted.

Have You Downsized Your Dreams?

When I worked as a financial planner I met many people who came into money unexpectedly, and so many of these people made poor choices and lost that money within a short period of time. Statistics back this up as four out of five lotteries winners revert to their original state within five years.

Within each of us is a very detailed picture of the person that we think we are. This image encompasses our appearance, skills, wealth, intelligence, and sets our comfort zone. This picture is only how we perceive ourselves. It may not necessarily be true but we make it true by our actions. Our perception results from decisions we made and then consistently acted upon. We change our perception – you could say downnsized your dreams – and allow more into our life in the same way.

Make the new decision that you can have what you want, then support that decision with all of your choices.

When you work and socialise with the same people, live in the same area and holiday in the same place time and time again it’s only natural that you start to believe that is all you can have. Do things differently. Holiday in a different place, take regular weekends away to places you’ve never been. Contact an old friend you have lost touch with. Start acting as if you can have what you want now. Dress up, set the table nicely, pick flowers for the house, redo or replace one piece of furniture or one corner of a room at a time. Change one small thing about your appearance.

Making one small change will make you feel good in the short term but it won’t do much to change your perception over the longer term. However, by adding more into your life on a regular basis you start to believe you can have what you really want.

Put how you are going to achieve your dreams aside and focus on how you will feel once you have what you want. Choose it, then support that choice with your thoughts, words and actions daily. Then watch the miracle occur.

Miracle Of Surrender

When I wrote my book Love the Life you Live , I was in such a great space in my life I wanted to share it with the world.  The optimist in me expected to stay in that place, apart from minor problems, for the rest of my life.

That didn’t happen—I went from loving my life to struggling to get through the day. I believe that every life has a purpose and that is to develop to our full potential.  When we first awaken to our purpose we experience joy and passion, we feel fulfilled.  It’s much like graduating from university with an undergraduate degree, we have some knowledge but our experience is limited.

So that we can gain self-mastery and develop our potential to its fullest our soul provides us with opportunities, often in the shape of problems.  Sometimes we experience the same issues we think we’ve mastered, and I want to make this point very clear, it’s not because we have done anything wrong.  It is merely life presenting us with opportunities for mastery at a very deep level.

What enabled me to turn my life around many times has been reaching the point of surrender.  However, only recently have I been able to reach that level intentionally. In the past surrender always occurred when I reached a point where I could do no more, either emotionally or physically.  At those times I literally threw my hands up in the air and handed my problems over to the Universe and let go.  And, in every instance when I did a miracle occurred.

The Miracle Of Surrender

My life has presented me with the opportunities, time and time again, to trust. Trust at its deepest level is surrender.  It’s about putting the mind and will aside, accepting responsibility to do your bit, then trusting the Universe to do the rest.

Life always presents us with opportunities to live to our full potential.  By embracing the challenge and surrendering you recognise life’s gifts.