happiness heals

Happiness isn’t something you have to wait for. It’s never dependent upon something changing. Happiness is something we choose and allow into our lives by the way we live, but that doesn’t mean we are going to feel joyful every day.

Recently I attended a family constellations workshop, which I discovered is not my thing, but a fascinating process nonetheless. In that workshop there were a lot of people who were in deep emotional pain and I heard many expressions throughout the day such as: It’s too hard, Life’s so painful, I don’t want to be here. The tendency to avoid pain seems to be deeply entrenched in our psyche, and the message I wanted to share with you today is that you can get through anything, yes anything in life, if you don’t resist it.

My life’s been tough. All I ever wanted was to be a mother, it was more important to me than anything else, and I treasure every one of my children. Then, my son died at five. My youngest experienced major depression and was suicidal for many years. And now my eldest, who has always been my rock is suffering. Ten years ago, Lisa was diagnosed with a rare liver disease. Three years ago, she was diagnosed with stage 4 cirrhosis. Recently, she was told that she would be lucky to be alive in two years without a transplant, but there was no guarantee that her liver wouldn’t fail at any time and she could be dead within two weeks.

Right now I feel sad and a little worried but underneath that is a core of peace. I can feel despair on occasions, without losing hope. I can wish my life was easier without complaining about what is. I expect a miracle, yet I know I can accept whatever happens.

The only thing that stands in the way of our happiness is our inability to accept what is. That doesn’t mean we don’t need coping strategies or that we don’t need to express our emotions. Some people cry but I don’t like crying in public, I like to cry alone. I used to talk about my problems all the time, but I’ve learnt that a better way for me to express any pent up emotion is to write it out of me. I’ve spent many hours at my keyboard alone, crying and typing out my feelings.

I used to think that writing was my purpose. I know now it’s just the vehicle through which I express my purpose. My purpose is to share, and that is how I make sense of pain. I share what I learn with others in the hope that it makes their life easier.

I came into this world to experience acceptance. My gift is the sharing of what I learn with others.

I have learnt that forgiveness clears away negative energy and opens doors to opportunity, so on a regular basis, prior to my daily meditation, I often go through the Ho’oponopono forgiveness process. Which is based on accepting responsibility for everything in your life, forgiving everyone no matter what they have done to you, and that includes forgiving ourselves, and the final step is extending love.

Now I know so many will resist this message, and many won’t even have read this far, if you have all I can say is be willing to try it. Resistance of any kind is the cause of all pain. Resistance keeps us stuck.

A question I’ve been asked is, how can we accept what is without resigning ourselves to what is?

The way I do it is I do it is to: forgive, release the pain, and accept. Sometimes it takes a while to accept, but I’m always willing to. Then live your life as if all of your wishes will be fulfilled and it’s just a matter of time until that happens.

Choose happiness today. Not when the miracle occurs. Not when someone changes. Not when your depression or struggle ends. Not when you find someone to love you. And not when the pain ends. All you have to do is make the choice, you may not feel any different for a while but if you keep affirming that you choose to be happy, that you choose to live, one day you’ll find you really do feel happy.

Do at least three things that make you happy every single day. They can be small things like walking in the sunshine. Enjoying a cup of coffee. Talking to someone. Savour these moments.

Then start a list of twenty wishes, these are things you want in your future. These wishes aren’t about material possessions, they are about experiences and can include big things like sharing your life with someone you love or being a mother. They can also include fun things as well such as taking a ride in a hot air balloon or riding a bike.

Today is the only day any of us have, let’s enjoy it, and share that enjoyment with others.

“Pray as if God will take care of all; act as if all is up to you.”
St Ignatius

 

 

 

 

Finding Your Passion

“Passion is energy. Feel the power that comes from focusing on what excites you.” —Oprah Winfrey

When Charlie Albone left school all he wanted to do was go backpacking in Australia, so he took any work he could get that would help him save towards that goal. During the day he worked for a house painter doing mostly grunt work of scraping and sanding. At night he worked in a bar. On his way home one day Charlie witnessed a car crashing into the stately gates of an English manor house, then drive away. The following day Charlie called in to tell the home owner that he had witnessed the accident and what make the car was. The owner asked Charlie if he knew anything about gardening and offered him a job.

For four months Charlie worked alongside the home owner every weekend in his garden and found it was something he really enjoyed. Then Charlie moved to Australia and fell in love with this country. When he asked around for work he was offered a job with a landscaper and before long knew that working in gardens was his passion. Charlie enrolled in a two year course in horticulture and design at TAFE and was only out of college a couple of years when the opportunity to apply for a presenting role as a landscaper on a new TV show arose. He applied, not really expecting to get it. When he got the role he only expected it to last only one season. Eleven years later Selling Houses Australia still going strong and Charlie is well known to many Australian households.

Since then Charlie has won a silver medal for his first garden at the prestigious Chelsea Flower Show, as well as two gold medals for other work he has done. As well as filming Selling Houses Australia he now fulfils his passion for garden design by working all over the world, choosing only jobs that really interest him.

Now some people will always think Charlie was just lucky, but the real reason some people are lucky is because the activate the electromagnetic field of their heart. The heart is a tiny organ, weighing just half a kilo, yet it packs a lot of punch. Not only does it keep us alive it generates an electromagnetic field that is 60 times greater than our brain waves. HeartMath believes that, “electromagnetic signals generated by the heart have the capacity to affect others around us”. Some people are ‘luckier’ than others because people are drawn to their electromagnetic field.

When I was younger I experienced quite a few financial crises, and when I couldn’t do any more, I always took time out and did something I enjoyed, then when I’d come back I always found a solution to that crisis. I didn’t know why it worked back then, I just knew that it did. It took me a while to realise that the key to success and happiness is to follow your passion. Passion starts as liking something, and as you consistently add more things you like doing into your daily life you’ll often find that likes evolve into passions.

So, any time you feel confused, or if life doesn’t flow the way you would like it to, go do something that you love. Working harder, searching for answers and talking about problems only helps so much, whereas feeling happy can turn your life around.

Better still make a point of doing at least three things every day that you genuinely enjoy doing, so that you always have something to look forward to. Holidays and special events come and go, and a big mistake many people make is always looking forward to some future event, but it’s not sustainable. If you include simple things that make you happy every single day, then the bigger events are nice bonuses.

If you don’t enjoy your work look for three things you can do at work that will make you happier, this could be as simple as be kind or considerate to a co-worker. I love helping people and making a difference so when I was working in a job I didn’t enjoy I would give flowers to the receptionist, buy someone a cup of coffee, pay someone’s toll. Every week I looked for different ways to brighten someone’s day and those simple actions made that job so much more enjoyable.

By focusing on doing things that make you happy, your energy field changes and this is what other people respond to. Do this consistently and you’ll find that opportunities just gravitate to you. Best-selling author Nora Roberts says, “I don’t have hobbies, I have passions”, and I must admit I can say the same now. You don’t need to search for your passion, just do what makes you happy and you’ll soon recognise it.