The Habits of the Rich

I’ve studied wealthy people for 40 plus years and helped many of them get richer, and the one trait they had in common is that they always acted as if they believed they could have what they want.

When money gets tight most people do one of two things, they cut down on spending, or rebel by spending money they can’t afford.  There is a balance between the two.  The last thing you want to do is reinforce a poverty consciousness by acting poor, so to be richer you need to adopt the habits of the rich, but do it in a way that you can afford right now.

Simple habits such as setting the table nicely, picking flowers for your house, or carrying a certain amount of money in your wallet can make you feel richer.

If you are acting like a rich person take note of what you talk about, you can’t talk about how tough things are, or complain about money.  It is much better to say nothing.  This is not play-acting or burying your head in the sand, it is focusing your attention on what you want.

When something is lacking it’s very easy to get caught in the trap of treating symptoms.  Symptoms could be debts, or never having any money left over for you, or possibly always living beyond your means.

When you face your fears they are often not as bad as you think

When I worked as a financial planner one of my clients inspired me to work more with attitudes to money. Myra experienced constant anxiety over money and couldn’t even afford to have coffee with a friend.

My first contact with Myra was on the phone when I noticed how abrupt she was.  She was also very tense at our first meeting.  For the previous 20 years Myra had not lodged a tax return and she lived in fear of being discovered.  Finally overcome by guilt, she confessed, ‘I cannot stand it any longer.  I realise I may lose my home and even go to jail.  Every time I drive past a women’s prison I think I’ll be in there one day’.  When I explained that the worst that could happen was that she would receive a fine, she didn’t believe me.

Another of her problems was that she had barely enough money to live on, although she earned a good salary. She hadn’t been brave enough to fill in a tax rebate form that would have automatically reduced her tax, because she didn’t want to alert the taxation department to her situation.

It only took minutes to assess that Myra had paid too much tax and was due for a substantial refund.  We could only find records dating back seven years, and the Taxation Department was happy to accept those. The end result was a tax refund equivalent to $60,000 and no fine as the Tax Department owed her money.

The change that occurred in Myra when she faced her fears was amazing. She had inherited half of her parent’s house, which her sister had been living in rent free for years. When she didn’t have to worry about going to jail Myra sold her half. She started carrying a reasonable sum of money.  She bought a new car, new clothes and adopted a new attitude. Myra passed away 15 years years after I first met her and while I was sad to see her pass at a relatively young age, I was happy that I had been able to help her enjoy her life.

Money has no power only the power you give it

As it is virtually impossible to ignore money, make money your slave.  Once you master money it no longer controls you and will lose its importance and this is when it’s easy to attract more of it into your life. It is only when there is not enough, or you fear losing what you have, that you  worry about it, talk about it, and constantly look for solutions.

Money has a host of myths associated with it, some of these are: you have to work hard to make money; money only comes through work; if you have more than your share then someone will do without; you can’t make money being honest; artists, or certain professions have to struggle; it’s different for some people; money changes people; rich people are snobs; or, you only get one chance.

If you limit yourself by accepting any of these beliefs then your life will not change.  Good fortune may fall into your lap but you will lose it somehow. Desire is the most important ingredient and if you want something badly enough you can achieve it. Prosperity is not just about making lots of money, it is being happy with whatever state you choose.

A mistake that some of my friends and I made when we first started practising positive thinking was to believe that if we spent and thought positively, the money would come. Sometimes it did, but mostly it didn’t.  You cannot ‘fake it till you make it’ by living beyond your means and running up debts. This is not acting prosperously, nor does it change the real cause of your problem.

The habits of the rich

  1. Pamper yourself. This encourages you to allow more into your life and as you become accustomed to small luxuries you start to believe you can attain some of your larger goals. Make a list of items that make you feel prosperous. They need not cost money and could be something as simple as having coffee out in beautiful surroundings each week, or having a bubble bath with candles burning. Whatever you choose it should be something you can afford, and that you pay for with cash.
  2. Live within your means. When you never have enough money it’s hard to focus on being wealthy, so if you already live outside of your means look for ways to change that situation now. You may need to consolidate some debt or make a realistic plan for reducing debt, take on extra work for a short period of time, or seek professional advice.
  3. Never put all your money toward debt reduction, you need to be moving towards what you want, so allocate some savings to your most important goals, and don’t worry if the amount seems insignificant to the amount needed. Your actions and how you feel about yourself is what is most important.
  4. Always have some money in your wallet. Most people can access their money through an ATM machine but there is nothing like having cash in your wallet. What makes you feel wealthy, a lot of small notes, or several large ones? Choose an amount that you always carry with you and aim not to spend it unless you absolutely have to.
  5. Aim to not have to think about bills by setting up automatic deductions as much as you can.
  6. Always allow some money to fill your most important needs on a regular basis. This doesn’t have to be a lot, but enough to make you feel like you can have what you want.
  7. Share what you have. By giving regularly you draw more into your life.

By taking small consistent action steps towards your dreams you start to develop a prosperous mindset, and that is when unexpected opportunities often come your way.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Life Coaching as a Career

When the recession started in America, people lost their homes and consumer confidence plummeted, yet one industry according to Ibis World increased its market share during that time and that is life coaching. Even as the economy picked up this industry continued to grow. Yet, even though life coaching is a growing industry and some coaches are doing very well from it, there will always be some coaches who struggle to get their business started, and that’s not because of a lack of opportunities, it has more to do with their own habits and beliefs.

Whenever we do something new you we step outside our comfort zone and it is always scary at first, even for me. When I first started life coaching I often thought to myself, What do I do next? But I also knew that I had more knowledge on life coaching than my clients so I kept moving forward. My clients made progress, they were happy with the coaching, and that encouraged me to keep going. If someone had commented that they didn’t like what I was doing, which fortunately they didn’t, I would have asked them how they would like to be coached, or how I could do it better.

I am a bit obsessive about practise but this single habit has been a major contributor to my success as a coach and in business. When I wanted to be a public speaker I would stand in front of a mirror and give a speech. I would record it and listen to it over and over again. Yes, I cringed at what I was hearing most of the time, but moving through being bad enabled me to speak in front of hundreds and sometimes thousands of people. When I first became a financial planner I sat up in bed for an hour each night reading prospectuses from different investment companies.

If you never allow yourself to move through your fears you won’t gain confidence. I always tell my students to practise, practise, practise. Some coaches feel confident after eight clients, for another person it may be 15 – 20 clients. One of the keys to being a good life coach is to practise on volunteers until you feel as if you know what you are doing because you will never make much money from something you feel you are bad at. Fear will always get in the way.

Life coaches often say to me, ‘How can I coach a person on how to get married when I’m not married myself?’ or something similar. You can as long as you walk your talk. You don’t have to be perfect, or live a perfect life to be a good coach.

Make it Okay to Make Money

Now it may seem strange to some but some people won’t allow themselves to make money from doing something they consider to be spiritual, or helping others. Yet isn’t that what makes life meaningful?

There is nothing wrong with money and if you think there is you probably need to work with a life coach yourself as that is a major limiting belief.

If you have a problem with charging for your services then consider charging different fees for different people. You can also give some of your time away to people who can’t afford to pay. Just be careful to set a limit on what you give. Giving needs to be balanced with giving to yourself otherwise you could burn out and become a poor role model for your clients.

You Need to Allocate a Set Time to Work on Your Business

Most people are busy and work full time when they start their life coaching practice so if you wait until you have time to spend on your business you probably won’t do much. You need to allocate a specific time each week for letting people know you are in business. This could be as little as half an hour a day. That adds up to 15 hours a month, which is more than some people put in. If you can find more time than this, that is great.

There is someone out there looking for what you have to offer. Believe in yourself and make sure you let people know you are taking on coaching clients.

 

Where Are Your Thoughts Taking You?

I was replaying an upsetting incident in my mind one day when I became aware of what I was doing and I paused. I chose to forgive the other person who I felt had misjudged me. A few minutes later I found myself replaying the incident again, I chose to forgive her and I made a conscious effort to think about something else.

There are times in life when things simply don’t flow and it’s at those times we need to pause, reflect and ask ourselves questions. Often we find that we are spending a lot of time thinking about the very things we don’t want in life.  It doesn’t matter how right we are, how wrong the other person is or how unfair things are, like attracts like.  Critical thoughts attract critical people. Dwelling on not having enough money prevents money flowing to you.  Thinking about doing a job you dislike, keeps you stuck doing jobs you dislike.

Our thoughts, words and actions are the energy source that we use to create what we want, or don’t want.  How we think determines the language we use and what we talk about. This in turn influences how optimistic or pessimistic we feel.  How we feel has an impact on every decision, choice and action we make.  It’s that simple.

When we focus on not being good enough, or other people being out to get us, that is what we will notice.  We may be surrounded by good fortune or people who care about us.  People may tell us they love us, that we are good enough, but our mind will discard that and focus on what we expect.

I have someone in my life who can at times be very critical of me, and when I dwell on that criticism it takes me away from the person I choose to be, and the difference I want to make with my life.  Although I have good intentions I sometimes get caught up in my thoughts about how hurt I feel.  At these times I work at accepting, forgiving and letting go.  Sometimes I need to do something physical to change my state so I will go for a walk, or listen to an inspirational audio. When I can’t change my thoughts easily, I take myself away from that person.  Sometimes it is for the day, at other times it is for a few days.  It’s amazing how a few days away restores my equilibrium and my natural optimism returns.

No matter what your situation is there will be a strategy that works for you.  Sometimes you just need to experiment.  The benefits to be gained from consciously watching your thoughts and words will make the effort well worthwhile.

The Seduction of Job Security

At one time I worked as an accountant for a major publishing company and I thought I’d found my dream job. I loved books. I liked the people I worked with. I met some interesting authors and after being self employed for several years it was nice to have the security of a regular income.  But it wasn’t long before I realised that the work I was doing was so boring I started dreading going to work.

Talking to my family one night I said, ‘I think I’m going to resign’. My security conscious dad begged me to reconsider. Dad said, ‘But Anne you’re an accountant!’  My dad had a very valid point as such jobs weren’t always easy to get without formal qualifications. I knew I did the job well, I was valued, my job was secure and there was the potential to move up within the company. But I also knew that I couldn’t do this work long term because it was soul destroying.  I needed a creative outlet and I needed to work with people. So I resigned and it’s a decision I’ve never regretted because within two years I was offered the position of starting and managing The Financial Woman, a financial planning business for women. That role not only suited my essential nature, it launched my writing career and set the foundation for the work I do today. Eight years later my first book was published by the very company I once worked for.

Although I like job security it is nowhere near as important to me as it is to some people.  Recently one of my daughters said to me, ‘I’m worried that if I don’t leave this job soon I am going to get locked into a career and lifestyle I don’t really want.’  My daughter has been very successful, after just a few years of working she was offered the role of setting up and managing a large medical specialist centre.  She enjoys the job and likes the people she works with but her passion is writing.  Like many people my daughter values security but fortunately Laura is more aware than most and knows the pitfalls of settling for security.

A lot of people start their adult life with so many hopes and dreams and within the span of ten years so many settle for less than they really want lured by job security, income or the expectations or needs of others until they become so locked in they feel they have no other choice, but it doesn’t have to be that way.

Ignoring the call of your heart can lead to confusion or a midlife crisis.  Driven by the need to find a better way to live some seek the services of a life coach, or look for the answers in books.  If you are willing and open you can rewrite the story of your life.

Look at your life as it is today and ask yourself these questions:
Do you get more enjoyment from gardening or some other leisure activity than you do from your job?
Do you feel as if something is missing no matter how successful you are, or how many friends you have?
Are your weekends the highlight of your week?

If you answered ‘yes; to any of these questions it’s time to let go of the illusion of job security and reassess your life.  I’m not suggesting you throw in your job or do anything reckless, just take the time to reassess, be open to finding a way even where there appears to be no way, ask for help, or hire a life coach.  It’s scary to step out of your comfort zone and follow your heart but the joy that comes from being true to yourself makes the journey so worthwhile.

What Legacy Will You Leave Behind You?

“Love is my gift to the world. I fill myself with love and I send that love out into the world. How others treat me is their path; how I react is mine.” This is a quote by Wayne Dyer and is indicative of how he lived his life. He was in Australia sharing his message, and a couple of days later he passed peacefully in his sleep.

I don’t know how many of Wayne’s talks I attended, I’ve read most of his books and listened to his audios hundreds of times and I feel as if a personal friend has died, but beyond the sadness is the the legacy Wayne left behind. The legacy Wayne Dyer left behind him is huge, he inspired me to believe in myself and my dreams. Many times I heard Wayne Dyer say, ‘Don’t Die with Your Music still in You’ and this is a message I took to heart and is one that I live by. I encourage you to do the same.

In the world today there are more negative people than positive ones. There are more people who are ruled by fear than by faith. Beyond Blue estimates that 1 million Australian experience depression and 2 million experience anxiety. We can do something about this. Not everyone is going to help others in the way that Wayne Dyer or even I do, but you can inspire people around you with your attitude, by sharing your knowledge, being supportive and kind.

I was blessed to come from a family cursed by depression. I say blessed because watching the way some members of my family lived their lives and coped with depression by hiding away, inspired me to conquer my own fears, to find ways to cope when my mood goes down. When my daughter was diagnosed with major depression and anxiety in her teens I was able to support her to find her way out of the black hole. I am so, so proud of my daughter today, she is still challenged by depression but she has chosen to live her life to the fullest. Every time she falls down she lifts herself up. When she is afraid she forges ahead. Expect to hear about her in the future because she is the one who will take over my work and add her own gifts when the time is right.

Each and every day we have a choice, we can live our lives from a place of love, or we can react and allow our fears to restrict our choices. We cannot have everything that we want in the way that we want it, but we can always attain the feeling. Remember, the feeling is the real goal.

Include as many pleasurable activities as you can into every single day. They don’t have to be major, it could be something as simple as enjoying your morning coffee (bliss!), having lunch in the sun with a good book, connecting with a friend whose company you enjoy. When you become accustomed to feeling pleasure on a regular basis it motivates you to do what makes your heart sing.

Be mindful. When you are mindful you are not thinking about what you have to do next, worrying about how to solve a problem, or thinking about a future event, you place your attention on the here and now. If you feel anxious rather than making a judgment about it, or yourself, or looking for ways to change your state, you accept that this is how you feel right now.

The purpose of mindfulness is not that you plan to be mindful every minute of the day, there is a time and place for everything. There will be times when it is necessary to do something to change your state, or look for a solution. Mindfulness is practised in short bursts.

I urge you to commit to living your life to the fullest, to follow your dream, to connect regularly with people who uplift you so that you too can be an inspiration to others and leave a legacy of love behind you.

How to Manifest Your Dreams Easily

Wayne Dyer stood on stage and drew an imaginary line. On one side was the place most people spend their time which includes having less than we really want, struggle, and disappointment. On the other side is the field where we manifest dreams easily. As he talked Wayne stepped into the field of manifestation and invited everyone in the audience to do the same. That was in September 1997, it is a day which is etched in my memory as one of those defining moments.

Up until that time I was like most people, at times I could manifest dreams easily, then something would happen to make me doubt myself and I would move backwards. On that day I was so inspired by Wayne Dyer’s message I chose to believe, and I saw myself step over that invisible line into the field of manifestation.

I would love to say that my life has always flowed easily from that time onwards, sometimes it has and sometimes it hasn’t. The difference though is that my commitment to my dreams is as strong now, 18 years later, as it was on that day. That means that when I doubt myself, I take action. When I feel fear I move into it. When I fall down I pick myself up and try again.

I Changed a Lot of Habits

Following that seminar I changed a lot of habits. I particularly monitored my self talk and what I spoke about with others. I started creating the ten steps I cover in my book Love the Life You Live, and I committed to living by my values. Leon Nacson recorded the seminar and offered the recordings at a really great price so I was able to listen to that seminar, which went for at least 6 hours, every time I got into the car for about a year, so that the message was ingrained in my consciousness. Over time I shifted from believing I could have everything I wanted to knowing I could have everything I wanted. Knowing is the key.

Wayne Dyer says, “In order to manifest you must assume the feeling of the wish fulfilled. You must be able to feel it in your body long before your senses are aware of it. Your inner pictures and the corresponding feelings that are connected to your vision belong only to you, and you begin to treat this inner world of thoughts and feelings as sacred territory. You make the shift from believing to knowing, and what you absolutely know is not tinged with doubt.”

All it takes to change your life is one decision followed by consistent action. Sometimes we are motivated to change when things get tough, or we can be motivated by a book, a speaker, or something we read.

What needs to happen for you to step over that line and into the field of manifestation?

I wholeheartedly recommend all of Wayne Dyer’s books and audios, they have changed my life.