Recently I moved into an old home that I intend to renovate. My house has a very old but functional kitchen, which I don't like much but know I can live with for awhile. This old kitchen has turned out to be one of life's blessings in disguise as I've learnt quite a lot about money values from it.

When my eldest daughter Lisa first saw the kitchen she said, "The first thing you have to get rid of is that kitchen". Lisa likes nice things and doesn't like to wait for them. My youngest daughter Laura is more security conscious, hates spending money and likes to save and she said, "There is nothing wrong with that kitchen why would you want to change it?"

Three different people evoked three different responses, and that's the way it is with money. We are all different and how we earn, manage, spend, save and invest our money depends upon our money values. Most money advice is given in a blanket fashion and assumes that the recipient of the advice has the same values as the person giving the advice. This isn't always the case and that's why it works for some people and not for others. The key to achieving your financial goals, and living a life you love is to know, then find a way to manage your money that respects your values.

Whenever we say we want more money, less debt, more financial possessions what we are really saying is that we want a feeling. Money and possessions have no power. Power comes from the feeling we get from having money and possessions. Conversely we can feel powerless when we have debts, insufficient money, no income and inferior possessions.

In order to determine your money values you need to determine what feelings are most important to you. If you want to have a lot of money so that you can do what you like when you like, you're seeking a feeling of freedom?this is your value. If you want to live in a beautiful home and be surrounded by beautiful possessions, then you want to feel prosperous?this is your value. If you want to know that there will always be enough money to pay the bills, retire in peace and know you'll never have to worry about money again you want to feel secure?this is your value.

Once I realised that my kitchen was a gauge for assessing money values I decided to make the most of it. I started listening to what people were really telling about their money values when they made any comments. A carpenter who's done a lot of work for me commented, "Nice kitchen". When I asked him if he was being sarcastic he looked genuinely surprised and I know from subsequent conversations that I've had with him that he is very security conscious. My hairdresser too is security conscious. Debbie comes to our home to do our hair, and this is usually done in the kitchen. Debbie also commented that she liked the kitchen and didn't see the need to change it. When my former secretary Lisa came to visit and said, "Good size kitchen", and I recognised this statement for what it was, a nice neutral comment that was more about politeness than real feelings. So when I said that I disliked it and intended replacing it she said, "Well I didn't want to be rude by commenting on it". Another friend said, "Don't worry about the inside, what's important is to get the outside of the house looking good first".

What all of these people told me is how they feel about money and what is most important to them. Understanding your relationship with money and how others close to you relate to money will make it so much easier to achieve your financial goals. It can also assist you to achieve greater harmony in relationships where money is involved.

Your money values

The title of my first two books, Financially Free and Debt Free will give you some indication of what my highest money value is. Throughout my life this need I have for freedom has been both a blessing and a curse. There have been times when I was extremely good with money and times when I was just as bad and how these two personalities could co-exist within me was something I didn't understand until I started working with money values. When I accepted that my need for freedom is a vital part of who I am and decided to honour this value in a responsible way, I was able to create financial stability as well as freedom in my life.

The most common money values are freedom, prosperity and security. Although it is important to honour your money values it is equally important how you do this. When you pursue a feeling to the exclusion of all else you may find yourself in financial difficulties.

There are no right or wrong money values, they simply are and they shouldn't be ignored. If we were all the same we would not have the same opportunities. Learning to honour our own needs and the differences between us provides us with so many opportunities to grow as people.

By honouring your money values you have the opportunity to:
love and respect yourself
love and respect others
accept responsibility for yourself
accept others as they are
change limiting beliefs
become more creative
stretch yourself and your capabilities
trust yourself, others and the Universe
trust that you have your desires for a reason.

Your money issues hold the key to financial freedom so rather than cursing money start loving it, and look for the gift in your current situation.

When money represents freedom

It would be easy to assume that everybody who has a desire for freedom, or any money value has the same need, they don't. One person's desire for freedom may mean that they simply cannot work for an employer, while another person can quite happily work for someone else provided they are not tied down by financial responsibilities. One person may want more money so they can do what they like, another may not care about money but want the freedom to be creative. Each money value has its strengths and weaknesses and knowing these can make it easier for you to develop a plan that will work for you.

If you value freedom you may have a tendency to be irresponsible with money, that's not to say you are irresponsible in other areas of your life. During my twenties I was bringing up two young children with minimal financial support. I was a very responsible person in every way except with money. There simply wasn't enough to go around and this meant that sometimes I rebelled against my situation by spending money I didn't have. Having no money meant it was hard for me to be spontaneous. So whenever I felt like breaking free I would go away for the weekend with my girlfriend and both our children. These weren't expensive trips, usually we stayed in a caravan by the beach, or an inexpensive flat but as I couldn't make ends meet to begin with they were usually more than I could afford. However, these weekends enabled me to cope with the pressures of my life and my friend and I often reminisced in later years about what great times we had.

If that was all I ever did I could have managed financially but it wasn't. At other times when I felt restricted by lack of money, I'd go out and buy clothes, presents or some other item on credit. At Christmas I always spent way more than I could afford, and my rent always took up at least half or more of my income. What I didn't realise at the time was that these habits restricted my freedom even more. Like many people who don't want to face facts I never actually worked out how much came in and how much went out. I just juggled my money from week to week, sometimes borrowing from one creditor to pay another and this created unnecessary stress in my life for many years.

On the positive side my need for freedom has motivated me to take chances and try something new that I may not have normally done. Because I felt frustrated with the bureaucracy of big business and was unable to make my own decisions I was motivated to start my own business. I certainly wasn't an overnight success in business but through every business that I've had, seven in all, I've learnt a lot about myself, other people and business management in general.

Working for myself is one of the best choices I ever made. It was scary at times but it was more important to me to honour my need for freedom than to settle for financial security. If I hadn't been driven by that need I would never have achieved all that I have and I could have settled for a lifestyle that is more restrictive than the wonderful life I lead today.

All money values have a positive side and a negative side and learning to balance the two is the key to success.

On the negative side if you value freedom you can avoid budgeting, you may act without fully realising the implications of your choices or your plans may lack substance. The dilemma for you is that what you so desperately crave you sabotage yourself from having because your behaviour actually restricts you. If you feel restricted it is not uncommon for you to rebel and spend money you really can't afford, or to run up debts because you so desperately want to feel free

On the positive side when you feel free, or when you are the one placing restrictions upon yourself, you can be an excellent money manager. Your need for freedom can motivate you to achieve more, excel in business and generally find a way where there appears to be no way.

When you create any financial strategy you need to make sure that it honours your value. That may mean leaving some money aside or allowing an amount out of your pay each week that you can be spontaneous with. You would make a point of understanding your weaknesses and the easiest way to do this is to look at what worked and hasn't worked for you in the past.

If you tend to be impulsive, and people who value freedom often are, you may like to decide on a way to avoid taking action until you've checked everything out. For me waiting three weeks before I acted on an idea meant that a lot of my ideas fizzled out before they got off the ground, saving me time and money in the long run. You may even create a checklist for yourself to complete during these times.