Make Fear Your Friend

Fear shows up in our lives for one of two reasons. It either keeps us safe, by warning us of danger, or it presents us with an opportunity to grow.

Earlier this year I committed, for the umpteenth time to losing weight and I was so proud of myself sticking to a healthy but rigid diet, then I fell off the wagon. Admittedly I got the flu, didn’t have a kitchen for several weeks and was under a lot of stress, but the fact is that I haven’t been able to get under a certain figure on the scales for many years. I haven’t always had a weight issue, when I was younger, I would gain a few kilos but I could lose them just as quickly. So I asked myself prior to going to sleep each night, what my weight was keeping me safe from and I had my answer within days.

The night before my son died I can remember thinking that my life was perfect. The following day I felt like I had been thrown out of heaven and into hell. Fast forward several years and I again reached a place where my life was the best it had ever been, and within a very short period of time my life did a total reversal.

We make decisions, consciously and unconsciously, on a regular basis and the more emotion associated with any decision we make, the stronger an influence it has on our lives. Our decisions can be wide ranging from how much we can have, how intelligent we are, how happy we can be, to how much people like us. I believe that I made a decision that in order to be emotionally safe I could not allow myself to have everything that I wanted.

As we travel through life things go smoothly until we come up against a decision we have made and we experience fear. Often we don’t recognise it as fear because it may not present in a traditional way, obvious fears are easier to face. The less obvious ones that are triggered as we progress towards what we really want, often send us scurrying back to the illusion of safety, and therefore keep us stuck.

We are never safe from our fears because they control us and affect the quality of our lives. We can avoid our fears for awhile but they will follow us around. The easiest way is to confront fear head on. Sometimes we just need to feel the fear and proceed anyway by acting like a courageous person. At other times we need to change the belief that surrounds the fear. At the present time I am affirming, “It is safe for me to have everything that I want”.

Just remember that whenever you procrastinate, feel stuck, or can’t move forward there is usually a fear in your way. Talk to your fear. Ask it what you need to do next. Then move forward and as you progress it will eventually drop away.

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